I’m going to give you a warning: this editorial is not going to be a lot like the others I have written, and it’s probably going to be less of a funny read, and more of a personal exercise. I do hope you enjoy reading it, though. Let me first talk about why I write for the Dope Directory. My father played a very big part in my interest in the healing power of cannabis. He picked up his Red card around four years ago, and him and I visited Karmaceuticals in Denver. As a diabetic, he had a very serious circulation issues, which made walking, sitting, and even sleeping a painful chore. It was nice to see, through the use of cannabis, he was able to sit, relax, and even laugh, despite the heavy burden that his disease put on his fragile body. Let me put this as clearly as I can: Karmaceuticals helped relieve his suffering in a very personal, fun, and compassionate way. They are a medical facility that not only understands the healing power of cannabis, but also strives to make the visit to the dispensary a fun-filled and upbeat experience. My father always came home from Karmaceuticals with a huge smile on his face, and it’s not too hard to see why.
The dispensary itself is located right off of South Santa Fe, just before 1st Avenue. There are a few parking spots on the back end of the building, but it is a little bit a game of Tetris getting in and out of there with all the other cars lined up to park. I accidentally walked in the handicap entrance on the side of the building, which used to be the main entrance before a major remodel. You can find the front entrance of the store facing Sante Fe. Karmaceuticals has been in the same building for five years, and their lobby is coated with their accomplishments. For instance, after winning 5280 Magazine’s Top of the Town in 2013, Congresswoman Diana DeGette sent a touching letter congratulating the dispensary (the letter hangs proudly near the handicap entrance). Immediately upon entering, I was asked if I wanted a refreshing beverage to sip on while I filled out my medical paperwork. I chose coffee, but there were all sorts of sodas and bottled water for patients to enjoy while they wait.
The waiting room, which has recently been remodeled, has sleek black leather furniture, with black and white linoleum floors, that appear to be ripped right out of an all night diner. The small coffee table has several copies of the Karmaceuticals Bud Book, which is a photographic exploration of the 200+ strains that the dispensary has in rotation. Huge professional photos fill the book, with strain description, and intended use. In the lobby, you’ll also find Karmaceuticals’ collection of smoking devices. If you are at all interested in vaporizing your product, take a look at the vape pen, produced by the dispensary. Confused how to use it? The dispensary has also produced some informative videos on the web to help out. They also had a decent selection of pipes, bongs, and bubblers to stare at while you wait. After filling out my paperwork, I was brought back into the cozy product room. Immediately to my left was a collection of some extremely healthy looking clones. Each clone was $19, and were price guaranteed to be free of any chemicals or pesticides. The shelves of clones were organized by type of marijuana, with sativas, sativa-dominant, indica-dominant, and indica plants all having their own spot.
The walls of the product room are lined with edibles, and transdermal products. Karmaceuticals carries products from many of Colorado’s favorite edible companies, such as IncrEdibles, Bhang Chocolate, and Edipure. If you like a little bit of kick in your morning coffee (and I don’t mean the Irish whisky that I’ve been known splash into my coffee on weekends), you have a few options. First, take a look at the offerings from Sweet Mary Jane. The company produces medicated sugar, guaranteed to make any desserts or coffees a whole lot more interesting. Then, take a look at Keen’s Greens’ medicated cappuccino. The entire bottle has 316mg of THC in it, so unless your tolerance is through the roof, this morning starter is sure to please.
As I said before, Karmaceuticals has over 200 strains in rotation, and they had well over forty strains for you to look through at the time of my visit. For those of you searching for a high CBD strain, take a look at the Juanita La Lagrimosa. “The Tearful Juanita” will give you a very strong burst of that pain-fighting CBD, but only a small amount of THC. Based on their patients’ reviews and experiences, the dispensary is compiling data on each of their strains, and turning each into a trading card. One one side, the trading card proudly displays the name of the strain, the medical benefits, the effects, strength, and flavor of the strain, as well as the expected buzz length. On the other side of the card, you’ll find a bunch of helpful information if you intend to grow that particular Karma strain, such as the plant’s genetics, flowering time, height, and expected yield. For people who want to smoke, and smoke a lot, Karmaceuticals has several interesting products for you to take a gander at. The dispensary offers 18-packs of prerolled joints that come in a handy carton, reminiscent of their tobacco-laden brethren. Ever had a seven gram preroll? For $49, it’s yours. For those of you wanting to smoke themselves and all their friends into another dimension, take a look at the Karma Blunt, which combines a whole ounce of flower, a gram of earwax, a gram of CO2 oil, and a gram of ice hash into what I’ve dubbed the “One Blunt to Rule Them All.” Karmaceuticals also packages and sells their own keef and dry ice hash. These concentrates are perfect for sprinkling into bowls, or into your joints at home, for a little extra magic. If you are more into dabbing, take a look at their huge selection of wax and shatter by the fine people at Venom, Organa Labs, and Caviar Kings. When it comes to selection of flower and concentrates, Karmaceuticals’ selection is very tough to beat.
Now, there are two major reasons I think you should bring your business to Karmaceuticals. First, the dispensary has amazing deals for its members. Just for signing up, you get a free eighth and a t-shirt. If you wear that t-shirt during any of your subsequent visits, they’ll throw in an extra gram of flower into your order. If it’s your birthday, expect some more freebies to be thrown your way. Every single day, the dispensary will play a game with its patients. I was in on a Tuesday, called the “2 For Tuesdays.” At the end of your order, you’ll choose either a black two, or a red two, and pull a card from the deck. If you guess right, you’ll get to double your order for free. As in, if you wanted a Karma Blunt, you could potentially take home TWO Karma Blunts, and smoke out the entire city of Denver.
The second reason why I am a huge fan of this place is the very strong connection that Karmaceuticals forms with its patients. Unfortunately, my father lost his battle with his diseases in the early Spring of 2013, after being a weekly shopper at Karmaceuticals. A few months later, my mother and I went in to tell all the people at the dispensary what happened. I remember vividly Jason, the owner of the dispensary, comforting my mother, and taking her into the product room, to give her the products that were intended for my father on his birthday. While she was shopping, Jason came out, and sat with me in the lobby, discussing all the fond memories he had of my dad. We traded hilarious anecdotes for what seemed like an hour, until my mom was ready to go back home. A firm handshake, and a solemn bro-hug from Jason, and my mother and I were on our way. For an owner to take so much time out of his day to comfort a bereaving family is something that you can never expect from a business, but I really do think Karmaceuticals gets it. To many dispensaries, my father would be just another customer, but to these guys, he was a cherished and loved man. I can honestly say I’ve never been brought to tears of sheer appreciation and bittersweet remembrance before in a dispensary, but Karmaceuticals, you guys take the cake.
I still miss him every day, but sometimes I like to imagine my pops sitting around a heavenly campfire with Jimi Hendrix, Jerry Garcia, and Bob Marley, taking massive rips from some sort of galactic bong. I like to imagine him saying that the stuff in the afterlife has nothing on the chronic in Colorado, too. But seriously, thank you for everything, Karmaceuticals.