Here’s the story of why I suck at growing plants. After several years of having a garden plot in front of my house, I decided it was time to turn said plot into a bountiful garden that I could potentially impress women with. This, of course, was no easy task. Keep in mind, this plot had been left unattended for the entire time I had lived there. After purchasing seeds, some soil, and a shovel or two, I got to work on turning the strangle-weed orgy into a potential future salad. So then, after hours of swearing, shoveling, frequent smoke breaks, tilling, planting, and watering, I found myself with something that could almost be called a garden. Seven days later, that “garden” was once again a tangled, weed-infested mess that the neighborhood cats called “the bathroom.” Frustrated, I gave up gardening shortly after that. The upside to this whole endeavor is that my inept gardening only managed to sink a few lettuce and cucumber plants. It would be a shame to waste my “talents” on actual cannabis plants. In today’s marijuana industry, there’s quite an emphasis in selling seeds and clones to ambitious cannabis users, so that they can start their own fun growing projects. If your thumb is greener than mine, I strongly suggest you check out La Conte’s Clone Bar and Dispensary in Northern Denver. Not only will you find clones of strains you’ll likely not find anywhere else, you’ll also find the buds that they’ve tended to be unique, and masterfully cultivated to suit the most diverse cannabis desires. “Welcome to Globeville.” The dated sign hangs ignored on the side of Washington Street, just north of I-70. Here’s another one of Denver’s industrial neighborhoods, with incredibly high poverty, and an equally troubling crime rate. The area was originally founded as a giant iron and silver smelting operation, which has since given way to a handful of metal processing companies, auto repair shops, and other various industrial endeavors. Apparently, La Conte’s is a building ripe with its own history. So the story goes, La Conte’s was an ordinary neighborhood bar (and rumored to be a speakeasy during alcohol prohibition), for nearly one hundred years. I parked my car alongside the old building, in one of several available spots near the dispensary. The vestibule to have my paperwork was large enough for me, and me alone. The friendly security guard opened the door to the product room, told me his day was “excellent,” and directed me towards the product counters. La Conte’s Clone Bar is a narrow, dimly lit spot, which maintains its old-timey bar feel. The floors are soft wood, which creaks ever so slightly as you shuffle to the product counters. The walls are wood paneled, which reminds one of any living room finished in the 1960s. Where the bartop used to be sits several hundred clones for you to peruse. Sitting next to the forest of baby marijuana plants was La Conte’s own Clone Strain Guide Book. Inside, descriptions of each plant they have available, from grow time, to smell, to taste, to effect, to genetics, covered each page. A plant could be yours for $25 for recreational customers, or $15 for medical patients. Widespread Panic began to jam out on the store’s sound system, and I made my way to the recreational counter. Displayed proudly on the counter was La Conte’s impressive seed collection. This is due entirely to the seed company started by the growers at La Conte’s: Cannarado Seed Co. Chem Cherry, Chem Dank, Chem Crush (a Cannabis Cup favorite), Chem Skunk, Chem Chem… I think I’m seeing a pattern here. One huge advantage to La Conte’s selection is you’ll find strains that were bred in house In fact, Brian, a manager at the dispensary, bragged about several of the plants that he personally had a hand in. With twelve different choices on the recreational side, and twelve on the medical side, there is enough variety in La Conte’s flower to find something good. The prices of the individual strains are tiered to reflect the potency and overall quality of the flower. On the medical side, for instance, for just $99, you can pick up an ounce of some of their less-successful grows. I found it particularly interesting that you could pick up the Orange Stomper at $99, but also for $150 for the ounce. This is because they are different batches, and the $150 zip was a higher quality yield. This was especially apparent by looking at and smelling the buds. As the old axiom goes, you certainly get what you pay for. La Conte’s Clone Bar offers some interesting and unique products that you will not find anywhere else. The dispensary has partnered with Epic Extracts to produce several in-house edibles. Whether your preferred medicine are fruit chews or brownies, La Conte’s, along with Epic Extracts, has you covered. The two have also partnered together to make a topical stronger than most out there. Pick up the large bottle of their indica lotion, which is packed with 400mg of THC. It also smells strongly of lavender, so you needn’t worry about smelling like you’ve been relaxing in a grow room all day. The dispensary also carries quite a bit of flake and wax from Epic, and also carries shatter from TerpX. With several strain-specific choices, if dabbing is your pleasure, then dab away, my friends. As far as smoking utensils go, the dispensary has also partnered with O.pen, and provides both CO2 extracted cartridges and propane extracts. You’ll also find a smattering of various smoking devices on the shelf, but the selection isn’t overly impressive. Aside from their own menu of edibles, La Conte’s does have a full menu of edibles to choose from, including the delicious IncrEdibles, Dabba, and Cheeba Chews. La Conte’s bread and butter, though, it must be said, is their overly impressive clone bar. I would recommend this dispensary to anyone who has ever been curious about starting their own grow operation. Now, thanks to the law, this dream of having your very own greenhouse of cannabis plants can come a reality. Take a look through La Conte’s Clone Strain Guide Book, and find something that really suits your fancy. If you don’t want to go through the hassle of growing it all yourself, the store also has a decent selection of bud, both recreationally and medically, to sate you. For me, I have a long road ahead before I could even consider turning my little plot of overgrown weeds (and not the good kind, either) into a delicious cannabis garden. Until then, to the bud store I go.
If you get an opportunity to visit La Conte’s Clone Bar & Dispensary of Denver, Colorado, let them know you heard of them through the Dope Directory, and please give them a rating.