Rainy days in Colorado are typically rare, but for some reason (and I don’t know if I can blame this on El Niño or not), overcast and humid days are becoming a daily occurrence in Colorado. My guess is all the collective rain dances that elementary school students have been performing for the last fifteen years that the state has been in a drought are now all finally working at once (take that, Ms. Peters! I told you it’d work). Now, I’m a huge fan of lush flora, and happily filled reservoirs, but I’m certainly not a fan of how damn awful some of my bones feel in humidity. Blame my youthful, active lifestyle, or my stunning lack of common sense, but I’ve broken my right foot in four different places in two years. That means, especially on days that it is humid, I get to look a lot like Kevin Spacey in The Usual Suspects. So there I was, leaning heavily on the guard rail outside of North Boulder Wellness Center; hoping to find something to at least dull the incredible discomfort I was in. Not only does this dispensary focus on products designed around easing pain, but the facility itself, in design and atmosphere, is definitely a place of healing as well.
You might be confused, driving up to North Boulder Wellness Center, located just east of Broadway off of Yarmouth. The place looked an awful lot like a townhouse in a residential neighborhood. In fact, upon entrance to the dispensary, I was pretty sure I had just committed a breaking and entering on some poor guy’s model home. Indeed, the place had quite the new-home feel to it. My fears about a possible prison sentence were quickly erased, as my ID and paperwork were taken, and I was led through the doors towards their main waiting area. With a bubbling fish tank, and several extraordinarily comfortable couches and massage chairs, I would have been completely fine with waiting, but they were able to take me into their product room immediately. Through some Japanese-inspired screen dividers I went, where I met Camille, my bud tender, and the daughter of the owners of the store.
While the diversity of flower is not the greatest at North Boulder Wellness Center, they do carry a strong diversity of strains for a multitude of medical purposes. Let’s talk a second about their Otto strain. If you are in serious need of CBD, North Boulder’s take on this strain will seem like a Godsend. The latest batch of their flower tested at 14.2% CBD, with only 4.7% THC. If you think that’s impressive, take a deep breath. Did you? Green Dot also produces a shatter version of their Otto, which tested at 71% CBD, and 23% THC. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a shatter with that much ooey-gooey CBD floating around in it, and for those patients seeking a strong kick of pain relief, get this shatter while you can. I was also fortunately able to sample a few of the strains available at the dispensary. First up was the Skunk Haze. Now, I don’t know too much about this strain other than it being a relatively strong sativa. It has a bit of a sweet smell to it, with a skunky afterthought. However, the smoke tasted extremely mild and earthy, and the high was energetic and creative. I sat down, laughed at a few videos for a little while, and then wrote some song lyrics while listening to Pepper’s Kona Town. Success! Next up was the Tangerine Haze, which smells like a bag of Cuties that you can get at the supermarket. This is a sativa-dominant hybrid, with delightful orange hairs. The smoke was sweet and tangy, and the giggly uppity feeling was almost instant. I was also impressed by the strong body high this strain gave me. I’d say this strain would be perfect after a hike (if it’d ever stop raining, that is), to unwind, relax, but not fall asleep. My foot felt absolutely amazing, despite the nighttime deluge happening outside. Pricing is consistent at the dispensary as well. Every eighth is $33, out the door.
North Boulder Wellness Center also offers quite a few different cannabis products to sample, which are generally focused around pain relief and overall wellness. As stated before, Green Dot produces the shatter and wax for the dispensary, using full nug runs for all of their concentrates. From wax, to pie crust, to budder, to bubble hash, to shatter, the concentrate selection at North Boulder Wellness is massive and incredibly reasonable. Aside from the immensely popular Otto shatter, which is $55 for the gram, each gram of other types of shatter can be yours for only $45 for the gram, and wax for $40. Full nug runs, at that price? Yes please. If you like to vape, you can pick up some of the O.pens and cartridges here. The dispensary usually carries their CO2 oil, but at the time of my visit, they only had their propane extracted cannabis oil. Hank Hill would be so proud, I tell you hwhat. There are plenty of other CBD heavy products available at the dispensary as well. Stixx pixie sticks, and tinctures from Sweet Mary Jane offer quite a few CBD heavy options. As far as smoking devices, the dispensary carries glass dabs starter kits, as well as Silver Sticks, which are basically single hitters with filters. The dispensary really does not carry much glass to speak of, mainly because the store has your health in mind. Sure, we all like to smoke, but it really isn’t the healthiest way to take in your cannabis. As a wellness center, the dispensary is also encouraging its patients to try alternative ways to take their medicine.
It was described to me, as I was vigorously taking notes, that coming to North Boulder Wellness Center is not just shopping at a store; but rather “It is sharing an experience,” said Anthony, another one of the dispensary’s employees. A few days a week, the dispensary also houses an acupuncturist and a massage therapist, as other ways to manage a patient’s suffering. Indeed, the dispensary felt much more like a spa than a marijuana dispensary. During the week, you’ll find some amazing daily specials. If you like wax and shatter, and I mean, REALLY like it, come in on a Wednesday, where you can pick up a full ounce of wax for $710, or a wax and shatter combination for $800. On Fridays, you can pick yourself up some $1 joints (limit two). Every day of the week, there’s a reason for you to visit North Boulder Wellness Center.
PS: Any elementary teachers reading this: let up on the damn rain dances, please.
If you get an opportunity to visit North Boulder Wellness Center of Boulder, Colorado, let them know you heard of them through the Dope Directory, and please give them a rating.