Bend your knees and keep that back straight. Stop twisting your elbow so much, keep your shoulders down, and remember, keep your eyes on the ball. Every time I golf I realize I’ve got the formula, but as my golf ball flies willy-nilly off into the rough, I don’t have the talent to make the formula work properly. Still, as poor a golfer as I am, I can’t deny the therapeutic properties of driving around your golf cart with some friends, lackadaisically playing a game while enjoying a beer, a cigar, and sometimes some embarrassingly conspicuous marijuana consumption. Most of my golf shenanigans as a youth took place at the Kennedy Golf Course, right off of Havana. This was mostly because the course is very forgiving to those of us not gifted with the ability to properly wield a golf club. Of course the other reason was the ol’ Centerfold Show Club across the street, to sate the needs of my friends, who didn’t find golf relaxing. While everyone has certain activities that they consider therapeutic, I think most of us agree that the utilization of the mighty marijuana plant is one we share. There is another option to assuage your woes right next to Kennedy, to help those among us who don’t care for golf or scantily clad women. Satica, a medical only dispensary, has been there providing one-on-one service to patients for over five years.
Nestled into the center of a small strip mall by the strip joint, Satica has an abundance of easily accessible parking. The first thing that struck me upon entering Satica was the fantastic aesthetics of their waiting area. The ceiling of the standard strip mall location is augmented with tasteful wooden crossbeams which complement the African themed decorum of their relatively spacious waiting area. I was immediately greeted by Duke behind the counter, who checked my credentials and showed me back to the bud room. I walked up to the counter and met Jacob, my budtender, who welcomed me to Satica and started to give me a brief overview of their products. During my visit I counted 17 different strains on the shelf divvied up into two different quality levels. Their shelves also cycle through roughly 50 different strains depending on what their grower has to offer. Pulling from their top shelf, Jacob started by grabbing a few of their popular strains for me to scrutinize. The first jar for me to investigate was full of plump little nuggets of Agent Orange. This is a Sativa strain that I know many of us are familiar with. Satica’s most recent harvest was tested around 20.19% THC. These perfectly harvested and trimmed buds emitted one of the most pungent, in your face marijuana scents that I’ve ever experienced. Next jar he grabbed was another iconic strain that no home collection should be without, Space Bomb. Another Sativa, Space Bomb has a light floral aroma, complimented by its gorgeous deep orange hairs. Jacob finished by showing me Triple Diesel, which he mentioned “hits like a sativa in the head” despite the fact that it’s actually an indica. Its nuggets are deep, rich green and trades an abundance of orange hairs for a smattering of shining little trichomes.
This was some undeniably good looking cannabis. If plain old buds don’t give you the power that you need to treat your ailments, Satica has you covered with fresh sticky wax, extracted for them by GCC Extracts. If you crave a purer form they also have some high quality shatter produced through The Growing Kitchen. Their shatter in particular looked extremely sticky and dense, and I’m sure would provide patients with an amazing dabbing experience. If you prefer to use your marijuana topically, Satica also has everything you need. They carry the full line of products from Apothecanna. They also carry Mary’s Medicinal transdermal patches which are ideal for dispersing cannabis into your over extended periods of time. While I’ve never experienced the power of the THC patches from Mary’ Medicinal, Jacob mentioned he’s known patients who have used their patches for a week by applying them briefly over the course of the day.
Satica also has a fairly sufficient stock of edibles to choose from as well. Dixie drinks sat in their cooler, ready to be consumed and provide patients with the metaphorical “wings” that Red Bull couldn’t deliver. Some scrumptious Dixie Truffles waited patiently next to some Blue Kudus, Canyon Cultivation Dropits and, one of my personal favorites, Mountain High Suckers. Mountain high suckers are great products that contain activated CBDs, are tested by CannLabs, and come with sugar free options. I’ve tried the strawberry banana before and was extremely impressed, but next time I’m going to have to grab a caramel apple, which Jacob mentioned are loaded with caramel goodness and are reminiscent to the caramel apple pops I know we’ve all had before at Halloween. A bunch of other dispensary staples were there as well, including Edipures, Dabbas, IncrEdibles, Cheeba Chews, and the ever so punny TinctureBelle. I was intrigued by the marijuana-infused crystal drink mixed from Better Baked as well, which when added to water make a pitcher full of medicated drink in pretty much any flavor your heart desires.
If you want to grab a smoking device during your visit, Satica has a small but extremely diverse selection of smoking devices. The lower shelves of their smoking device cabinet were home to several different vaporizers, vape pens, and some extremely unique decorative pipes. The top of the cabinet carried a good selection of pipes ranging in price from $7 up to $60 as well as a large glass bong, a pair of dab rigs, and an impressive locally made work of glass art (which doubles as a pipe if you’re brave enough to use it). For all of you vape pen users out there, you’ll be in luck too when you visit Satica. They have the standard O.pen cartridges as well as 500mg CO2 cartridges from EVO.
Now that you know your options in the area to sooth your troubled mind, chose your form of therapeutic activity wisely. If you’re out enjoying a day of golf and you find yourself with a wallet full of one dollar bills, might I recommend the higher path (pun intended). Swing by Satica to grab yourself some quality marijuana from an elegant dispensary and spend your entire evening at home in a private room with miss Mary Jane. Now that sounds like therapy to me.
If you get an opportunity to visit Satica of Denver, Colorado let them know you heard of them through the Dope Directory, and please give them a rating.