When I was in third or fourth grade, my Denver elementary school assumed it would be a great idea for us city slickers to get a taste of farm country. So naturally, they took us to a “farm.” What I didn’t know (or realize because I was not the brightest of shining stars in elementary school) is the “farm” they took us to was rather one of those pioneer towns, where we were able to experience what life must have been like in those few brave men and women starting a new life out Coloradee-Way. I remember they had us churn some butter, with one grizzled man telling us in a hilarious accent, “If yew wauna have buhder with yer biscuits, you gotta churn!” Why these oddly dressed farm people didn’t just swing by the grocery store for some value spread, like any rational person, was beyond eight-year-old me. I think it’s for this reason, and this reason alone, I scoffed at farming for the majority of my youth. As I got older, and realized that people in eastern Colorado didn’t actually dress like Kit Carson and Molly Brown, I realized farming is actually a remarkable concept, even for urban dwellers. The idea that you can raise something, and control its growth from seed to sale, is brilliant. This is exactly why I’m thrilled that The Farm, located in north Boulder, is named as such. With their carefully cultivated strains, organic soil, and stunningly good product, The Farm is a must-see for any cannabis enthusiasts in Boulder.
You can see The Farm on the Diagonal Highway, on your way to Longmont, in a building with a particularly interesting history. Originally a firehouse, the building then became a sex shop, followed by a liquor store, and now it’s a dispensary. Fire, porn, booze, and pot: it’s as if the fates had a meeting and said “Put everything Max absolutely loves in this building.” And yes, I realize they don’t actually keep the fire in the firehouse, shut up. The building
itself is covered with beautifully painted pastoral scenes. Outside, parking is adequate directly outside of the store, but if it is a busy time, you might have to park over in the Diagonal Plaza and walk.
Let’s start with what you see when you first walk in. The Farm’s waiting room is not really a waiting room at all. Actually, it is a full sized glass shop, completely filled to the brim with pipes, bongs, bubblers, dab rigs, chillums, dugouts, and so on. I held onto my numbered poker chip as I wandered around the enormous space, trying to get an idea exactly how much glass this place has. If you are in need of a piece, stop here. You will find something that suits you, and you will not have to pay an arm and a leg for it.
Once my number was called, I was brought back into the product room. Like the rest of the store, their product room is decorated head-to-toe with brilliant psychedelic art. The Farm has all of its product listings on two large, clean chalk boards. According to Rori, a manager of the store, the flower offerings change about twice a week. When I was in, the dispensary had twenty-four different strains to choose from, and a full variety of sativas,
indicas, and hybrids. Now, it should be noted that all of the bud you purchase from The Farm is preweighed into grams, eighths, or quarters, and packed away into childproof containers. I guess I never really thought about it, but Rori’s explanation makes a lot of sense. The Farm was a medicinal marijuana facility until making the switch to fully recreational earlier this year. They still treat their cannabis like it is a medicine, which means they don’t want people contaminating the product in any way. They do have samples out of each strain for you to look at and smell, however.
As I was talking to the various bud tenders in the product room, I was struck with a remarkable fact about The Farm: aside from their generous selection of edibles, all of their cannabis products are produced from them, from seed to sale. The Farm is one of the few dispensaries in Colorado that produces all of its own concentrates, including their Gumbi CBD oil. If you have aches and pains, this is exactly what you need. All of their
concentrates are CO2 extractions, meaning the process is butane-free. I was also informed that The Farm has a kitchen, and will be starting their own line of edibles for their store in the near future, so stay tuned for that.
The Farm offers enticing deals, all throughout the day, but timing is certainly everything. For those of you that can get out of bed before ten in the morning, the dispensary offers their early bird special, in which they will hack fifteen percent off the price of bud. They also offer 30% off “bong snaps” (or, smaller nugs of flower, perfect for bong rips, apparently), and from time to time offer a “Curtain Call” deal, which will knock even more off the price. Play your cards right, and you could be walking out of The Farm with a whole lot of weed, for not a whole lot of money.
I think the philosophy of The Farm is solid. These are people that take the art of growing and selling their own cannabis very seriously. If they are able to raise the product, from a seed, to its ultimate destination (your pipe), they are able to monitor how high quality the marijuana they are producing is. If they are able to produce all of their own concentrates, they are able to stand behind the product. It’s like me churning butter. Sure, if I had the constitution of that grizzled old pioneer, I could probably produce some awesome butter. However, there’s a reason why people like me don’t work in the butter churning industry, which is the exact reason why I’m thankful for the dedication of The Farm (butter to marijuana analogy: check).