If you’ve ever gone into more than one dispensary in Colorado, you’ve undoubtedly noticed that no two are alike. Every location stocks its own unique selection of flowers, edibles, and concentrates. This diversity is what makes my job so wonderful. Most dispensaries flourish by finding a niche and exploiting the proverbial ‘blind spots’ that other marijuana dispensaries may have overlooked such as focusing on selling limited selections at discount prices. On very rare occasions, I find a location like The Health Center U-Hills which is expansive enough to cover all the bases and provide customers with a plethora of cannabis products.
Located right across the street from the University Hills Shopping Center, The Health Center is an ideal location to liven up your next dining or shopping experience. I passed by 24 Hour Fitness, and found a spot to park in the somewhat tight dedicated parking lot behind the store. As I walked in I noticed the old faded massage therapy sign and chuckled at the coincidence that this still was a place of therapy. Marijuana therapy? I’m down for that! I was welcomed in to the sounds of Steppenwolf’s “Magic Carpet Ride” and a refreshingly upbeat security guard named Kyle, who checked my ID and told me it would only be a moment. This gave me some time to browse through some of the cannabis awards that The Health Center had earned for their various strains, and allowed me to relax in the immaculate, and impeccably decorated waiting area. After a brief wait, my time came.
Like many other dispensaries I’ve visited, the counter was divided into a recreation side and a medicinal side. The difference here was that each side was the same size as many other dispensaries entire storefront. The selection of buds available was truly impressive; I counted over 30 strains in one section alone. All of the buds were beautifully kept inside little plastic containers, each with their own little magnifying glass and small humidifier block to keep them safe for their brief time in the consumer’s spotlight. I couldn’t help but imagine them as little cryogenic stasis chambers holding genetically perfect super strains, just like Kahn and his crew on the Botany Bay. On the counter above the Marijuana stasis pods were easy-to-read menus, which were printed daily and color coded to make the selection process easy for patrons. All of the marijuana products were on display on the back wall, pre-weighed in Mylar Bags.
Next I met my budtender, Cassidy, who told me that their store carries up to 70 different strains depending on the day. Ever since The Health Center U-Hills and its sister store The Health Center Uptown opened for 21+ sales on the weekend of April 12th, they have been providing an unprecedented amount of strains for their recreational customers. Cassidy graciously pulled out some stasis chambers so that I might take in the aromas of the award winning buds. My olfactory senses awakened as I inhaled the sweet scent of cannabis from some of their biggest sellers. The Flo, c4, NYC Diesel, Green Crack, and Deathstar each spoke to my senses with a kindly “how do you do, bet you want to smoke me, huh?” The Super Silver Diesel told my nose “Hey, did you see I was one of Culture Mag’s top picks in 2014?” The Jilly Bean shatter said “I won Second place in the 2014 Cannabis Cup for medical concentrates, what did you do this year?” I finished by smelling Cassidy’s favorite, the Durban Poison. It didn’t even have to say anything; it just sat there, asserting its sweet scent into the confines of my heart.
After my scent-laden adventure, I took a moment to browse their edibles, smoking devices, topicals, other concentrates, joints and swag. In the Edible department one can find all the basic marijuana treats, including Edipure, Cheeba Chew, IncrEdibles, Stix, and Dixie to name just a few. They boasted a variety of cannabis products from drinkables tochocolates and everything in-between. There was also a decent selection of smoking devices; nothing too lavish but definitely enough of an assortment to please any patron, including O.pens with strain specific 500 mg cartridges and a nice array of glass pieces. There was a full selection of lotions from Apothecanna as well as almost every product made by Mary’s Medicinals. The Health Center U-Hills normally receive their shatter through Stay Concentrated Extracts, but at the time primarily had product from Mahatma.
All of their shatter is nug run rather than trim, and available in strain specific as well as generic Indica, Sativa, and Hybrid. There was a good selection of 1g pre-rolls, which were also strain specific. In the back corner there was some unique hand dyed t-shirts depicting The Health Center’s logo, a perfect keepsake for any weed tourists. If all of this wasn’t enough, then the sales should do it. They have daily sales on buds, and on holidays have some truly jaw-dropping deals, such as during the Labor Day weekend where they had a buy one, get one free sale (that I was truly sad to have missed).
The Health Center U-Hillsvis an all-encompassing marijuana dispensary location. Everything is tailored to make it easy for the consumer. From the menus on the tables to the television sets around the room, it makes for a great location for anyone who desires a massive selection of products but doesn’t want to be overwhelmed by dozens of unmarked jars. There is also a reward program as well to reward patrons with a free gram after their 5th purchase. Come for the prize winning weed, come for friendly budtenders, or come for the phenomenal sales, you won’t be disappointed. As one of the other employees mentioned in passing, “We’re forced to bring our work home with us here” My heart truly goes out to these poor souls, as I left feeling sorry that they must be coaxed into sampling some of the world’s best marijuana products (sigh).