It’s no secret that I still function in a somewhat embarrassingly old-fashioned manner. My friends are usually shocked when I tell them that I’ve never done any online banking, and that I still mail in all my bills. But after all, if I didn’t mail in my bills I would have never found out about the 75th anniversary Batman stamps at the post office (that’s right, Batman stamps). I’m not a total luddite when it comes to technology, but when given the option between talking to a computer or some flesh and bone, I’ll always choose the latter. I just need to admit that I’m just a face-to-face kind of guy. As a wandering dispensary nomad, I’ve seen the trends on the market shifting all towards streamlining the sale of marijuana into an emotionless scramble in and out of the store. Some new dispensaries embracing this “grab their cash and run” motto, have started to disregard the aesthetics of their dispensaries and the quality of their products, in order to make a quick buck. I’m always pleased when I find a new dispensary like The Wellness Center of the Rockies, which is geared towards providing patients with a custom tailored medical marijuana experience.
Although Wellness Center of the Rockies is a little ways off of the main road, it’s very easy to track down when you spot their sign on the East side Parker, pointing you in the right direction. Just follow the sign and look for the big white brick building with minty green trim. On my visit it was especially easy to find their location thanks to the friendly wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man out front guiding me in for a landing. I entered into a fairly traditional-feeling ID confirmation room and was greeted by Corinna, who had me fill out an extremely brief single page agreement, as is customary with most medical dispensaries, and then welcomed me in. The warmth of wood floors played perfectly with their white stucco brick walls. The centerpiece of the room was a fantastically comfortable looking sofa, accompanied by a coffee table with some reading material as well as some print outs of their daily deals. Corinna offered me a cookie and a bottle of water while I started to peruse their wares. I never would have guessed that they had only been open for a week as I looked around, since there was none of the disorder usually inherent to new dispensaries. I was already pleased with my experience and I hadn’t even looked at their marijuana yet.
Corinna walked over to their delectable looking buds and grabbed out a few jars for me to sniff. Currently their buds are wholesale, but they should start having their own crops soon. Don’t let this discourage you, because I can assure the dozen different strains they have in the meantime are superb. Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl” started playing in the background as I dove my nose into a jar of the ever popular sativa dominant strain, Blue Dream. This strain has always been one of my favorites. Although I’ve enjoyed it many times before in a recreational application, one of my friends swears that smoking small amounts of this strain has actually helped his asthma (go figure). Next, Corinna whipped out a scrumptious looking jar of Golden Goat. Another wildly popular sativa, their batch looked simply immaculate. Both piney and fresh, I have no doubt in my mind that this this harvest of Golden Goat would make anyone smile. Although all of their strains were worthy of being commemorated in words, I feel that lastly I must mention their Black Dominia. 90% Indica, and loaded with striking orange hairs, this marijuana has a truly unique bouquet. When I took a deep whiff, all I could think of is smelling a big jar full of freshly churned butter. The richness in the odor of this strain was pretty much unlike any other I’ve experienced. I just need a lobster tail and some wine to go with it, and I’ve got my evening planned.
I followed Corinna down the counter as I pondered if there would be any good excuse to tell the Red Lobster staff as to why I needed to smoke a joint of Black Dominia with my meal. We stopped over at the far side of the dispensary next to their drink cooler, currently stocked with Cannapunch, and soon to be loaded with Dixie drinks and Keef Colas. Their edible selection was already fairly inclusive and as more of their orders come in will only grow. There was a full supply of IncrEdibles, Edipure, Blue Kudus, Sweet Grass, Mountain Medicine and (coming soon) Cheeba Chews and Green Hornets.
If you’re a concentrate user, you’re in the right neck of the woods. There is some wonderful clean strain specific waxes and shatters to choose from, utilizing propane extraction from Venom. There was also a large variety of strain specific C02 waxes from Evolab including Bruce Banner, Iced Grapefruit, and Harlequin. Right next to their shatter you can also pick up 1 gram syringes of C02 oil from Gold Dragon Oil for only $30 each. If you’re a vape pen user, or if you want to be, you’re in the right place as well. They stock full Eclipse Vape H2O kits, Monkey Vape pens, and the ever popular O.pens with 150mg, 250mg, and soon 500mg cartridges. If you like a lot of punch, but still want to smoke leaf, then you can pick up a strain specific caviar joint. These 1.5g caviar joints came in Sour Diesel, Fruity Chronic, Golden Goat/Pineapple Express, and Afgooey. While I’ve had caviar before, I can only imagine the strength of an entire joint would leave me couch-locked for days. If you’re like me and don’t have a mighty tolerance, you can also pick up some loose Sky Walker caviar or pick a joint out of their great selection of pre-rolls.
Their extremely proficient selection doesn’t just include edibles and smokeables; they also carry the full line of Apothecanna topicals, and boast a surprisingly diverse selection of smoking apparatuses. Their smoking implement shelf contained everything from small glass pipes, up to some heavy-hitting vaporizer boxes and hookahs. If you want to get set up with a dab rig, this is a great location to do it with small waterless rigs as cheap as $30. My favorite pipes on their shelf were small $10 convertible brass and steel pipes that when closed cleverly camouflage themselves as a tube of lipstick or a Zippo lighter. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, I took a moment to look over their fabulously pun-riddled daily specials. Deals like wax Wednesday, where you can pick yourself up two grams of wax for only $50, and Monday Madness when all grams are only $8, are just a few of the great of alliterations offered.
Trust me when I say that there is even more to this dispensary than I have time to mention. Satisfied with my awesome one-on-one experience, I grabbed myself a couple of IncrEdibles, and as a first time customer snagged a free pre-roll of Blue Dream. I paused a moment on the way out to grab a snickers bar from the candy bowl and chuckled at what Corinna said about giving me munchies and selling me things that cause munchies at the same time. I was extremely pleased with the personalized service I experienced, the welcoming environment, and the superb selection at Wellness Center of the Rockies.
If you get an opportunity to visit Wellness Center Of The Rockies in Denver, Colorado let them know you heard of them through the Dope Directory, and please give them a rating.