In the wide, wide world of strains, there are some that are vague obscurities in the greater scheme of things; the strains that have yet to achieve greatness via Cannabis Cup ribbons and well established street clout. There are some strains that have already become a ubiquitous name in any cannabis smoking household; these are the strains your dealer would tell you that you were receiving even though they most likely had no clue as to the genetics. Then there are strains like Golden Goat. Strains that transcend general hype and fleeting popularity in exchange for immortality in the weed smoking hall of fame. If you haven’t heard of Golden Goat yet, welcome to the world of cannabis. Golden Goat is one of the most widely renowned sativa dominant strains on any shelf in Colorado right now, and it’s easy to recognize on most shelves due to its boast-worthy number of gangly orange hairs and iconic sweet-pine bouquet. What makes the Goat so golden you may ask? Besides a few generations of selective breeding for extra hairy hairs, you can credit the goat’s goat-y-ness to its genetics. Its Island Sweet Skunk mother provided it with the sweetness and the ability to grow such robust hairs along with its Hawaiian grandmother on the other side. The piney addition can be credited to its Romulan progenitor. Romulan is known to be extremely piney and floral, and along with all the island heritage, comes together to make Golden Goat the phenomenal strain that it is. Something noteworthy about the Goat’s heritage is that, save for the Romulan, all of its parent strains are sativa-dominant. This naturally makes Golden Goat a sativa dominant as well. In other words, buckle up, it’s going to be a heck of a ride!
I picked up Golden Goat at Wellness Center of the Rockies. With eighths only $35 on the rec side for buds this quality, it was practically a steal. If you’re a med card holder, you can pick up ounces at Wellness Center of the Rockies for only $100, making it one of the best stops in town for high quality cannabis on a budget.
Golden Goat :: Appearance | Smell:
What can I say about Golden Goat, other than a curt and poignant wow! After liberating my Goat from the jar, I took a moment to marvel at its robust hairs and glittery golden trichomes. The structure on these buds is just about as spot-on as it can get; glorious shimmering calyxes to complement its pale green complexity. The nuggets themselves, while appearing to be extremely light and fluffy, actually had some real density to them. The smell was exactly what any Golden Goat’s smell is touted to be, that is, pine laden and exceptionally sweet. While a little bit of the skunk smells from its ISS parent did come through, the sharpness and the tang of pine seemed to overwhelm the skunkiness. If you want to recreate the smell for yourself, add a gallon of pine sol to a gallon of corn syrup and then stand a good 100 feet away from a spraying skunk, and you would have an analogous smell for Golden Goat (not recommended).
Golden Goat :: Smoke | Effect:
Feeling particularly bold and knowing that I had to clean my house, I decided that my weapon of choice would be a small bong. After cleaning out the bowl and preparing myself, I let the hemp wick burn and put the fire to the weed pyre. Sweet and piney, just as the scent had promised. As the little trichomes bubbled away and rendered their precious THC, all I could do for a moment was sit back and marvel at the smooth rich flavor that had just graced my mouth. Truly a king among strains; after you’ve smoked Golden Goat, it very easy to know why and how it’s become so popular in the last half decade. It didn’t take long for the sativa effects to take hold of me and blast me off into an inspired cleaning frenzy. After a while I did notice that my mouth was starting to get extra cottony, so I took a water break, stepped back, and took a look at what my Goat-fueled cleaning binge had gotten me. All I can say, is that I started about a dozen different cleaning tasks and had finished all of them about halfway, leading me to conclude that Golden Goat is, in fact, not the best cannabis to clean your house on. Even though I hadn’t even had lunch yet, Golden Goat didn’t have the immediate munchy-causing effects that some strains have on me. When I did whip out my sandwich from the day before, it sure did taste amazing. Thanks Goat.
There isn’t much more to be said about this apex strain. It’s a rare gem when you find a strain that has effects, flavors, and smells that are on par with its aesthetics, but in the case of Golden Goat, I don’t see how it could get any prettier or more potent. While not the best house-cleaning strain, I can see Golden Goat being better suited for playing Frisbee, golfing, or maybe just having a picnic; pretty much do anything that is kinesthetic, doesn’t require a lot of focus, and you’ll be set. I leave it to you now to pick up the torch where I left off; brandish your Goat with pride and it shall reward you time and time again with a perfect sativa high mixed with the style and sophistication of a goat.