In only a few years Colorado has become spoiled when it comes to cannabis. Just five years ago, well before recreational legalization, you had to know someone if you wanted to get any marijuana. Not only did you need to know a guy or girl with the right stuff, but you were completely at the mercy of whatever the grower decided to cultivate. As someone who sampled a good share of Colorado’s yesteryear cannabis, I can safely say that quality and selection has gone way up since legalization. The other effect of mass growing legal cannabis has been better refined methods of selective breeding, giving the weed craving masses a taste of some of the highest THC content strains to ever hit the face of the planet. WiFi Alien is one such high THC content strain. With a whopping 28.15% THC, there is no way to smoke WiFi Alien and avoid getting an otherworldly buzz. On paper, WiFi Alien is an indica-dominant hybrid with a fiery heritage. With the parent strains White Fire and Fire Alien Kush, it’s hard not to get fired up about this extra hairy strain. The name is also rightly given due to the insane number of hairs that grace the surface of an average nugget of WiFi Alien. Both parent strains have a relatively short family line and seeing as both White Fire and Fire Alien Kush both share the same parent strain, Fire Kush, I can only imagine how awkward the family reunions must be. Fire Kush along with The White are the building blocks for the sativa-dominant White Fire, while Fire Kush mixed with Alien Kush create the indica-dominant Fire Alien Kush. With all that Kush in the genetics, it’s no surprise that WiFi Alien turned out an indica-dominant hybrid with an astonishingly high THC count.
WiFi Alien is an extremely unique, brand new strain from the master growers at Chronic Therapy, a recreational dispensary in Wheat Ridge Colorado. Chronic Therapy is the last stop before hitting the overpriced mountain dispensaries. I was lucky enough to get my sample before it’s even hit the shelves. If you’re looking for a strain that’s going to knock your socks off with its smell, taste, and effects, then look no further. There is a good chance by the time you’re reading this that WiFi Alien is jarred and ready to go and you too can get a sample of this new strain that’s taking the marijuana scene by fire.
WiFi Alien :: Appearance | Smell:
As the old saying goes, the proof is in the pudding. My nuggets of WiFi Alien looked like little orange hairy monsters sitting in a jar. There is no revoking the fire aspect of its name as it’s hard not to akin the little orange hairs dappling its surface to a roaring inferno of THC-fueled marijuana madness. Besides that, to use the hip new colloquial term, this strain is fire! Looking beyond its extra hairy surface and down to its stems and buds yields a phenomenal view of a delicate and pale green strain slathered with a slew of tiny little trichomes, each doing its part to get you ludicrously stoned. The smell is otherworldly as well, letting off one of the sweetest aromas I’ve ever had the fortune of experiencing from a marijuana strain. Besides being ludicrously sweet, it does have a slight bit of a tangy Kush smell to it as well. Who can blame it, with Kush making up three of its four grandparent strains. When you really take a moment to explore the full depth and richness of its smell, you get a fruity aroma. While I can’t for the life of me place what fruit I’m smelling from my jar of WiFi Alien, I can tell you that it’s a fruit I would love to grind up and pack into a massive bowl.
WiFi Alien:: Smoke | Effect:
The time had come for the best part of any review, the sampling. I took a moderately sized nugget of WiFi Alien, ground it up, and packed a tiny taster bowl. Hemp wick in hand, I took a big old rip and waited for the magic to happen. The flavor profile for WiFi Alien is rather basic. The first flavor that I picked up was a delightful dank sweetness that, for me, has become synonymous with strains that have a heavy Kush background. Another thing that’s noteworthy is that this WiFi Alien has a tendency to induce some pretty powerful coughs. While the smoke itself feels incredibly smooth going down, there is definitely a little bit of a kick on the exhale. You can also pick up a little bit of an earthy flavor that didn’t show up until after the first puff. It wasn’t long before that high THC content was starting to grab ahold of my mind without any regard for my sobriety. To emphasize my point, I spent my first few minutes after smoking WiFi Alien literally staring at the wall in a daze. After the incredibly powerful initial effect wore of in a few minutes, I was left with what I would describe as a super potent sativa effect. I bumbled around my house in stupor for a few minutes cleaning up some trash and staring at random objects around the room assigning them way more importance than they actually deserved. Within an hour however the effects started to wear off, and rather quickly at that. I was left an hour later shockingly sober with a slightly cleaner house.
WiFi Alien is a powerhouse hybrid, with the brain of a sativa and the heart of an indica. The effects during my smoking sessions with WiFi Alien have always been a hoot. I get a massive exuberant head high accompanied by a nice overall body numbness that lasts for a very brief time, and then disappears as quickly as it sets in. This strain is not for the faint of heart. The power behind the high THC content can’t be overlooked, and if you are new to Colorado cannabis, I would highly suggest working your way up to the big leagues, or at least rationing your WiFi Alien so you don’t end up uncomfortably high. While I didn’t feel any anxiety during my smoking sessions, I recommend always taking high THC strains one hit at a time to gauge your own tolerance before diving right into the deep end. If you’ve been on a quest for something that packs a little more punch, then you’ve found a perfect strain. With a glorious hairy orange coat, remarkable light green hues, and a potency that’s not to be trifled with, WiFi Alien is the fiery new strain out there that’s just waiting for you to enjoy it.